Thea Sharma was born on 7th February at 4.47pm. It was a tough delivery for me because I went through normal delivery pain for close to 12 hours and was then told by the doctors that I will have to undergo c-sec! One of my worst nightmares came true that day- All along I had feared this sort of delivery.. but that's past now. I have almost recovered from my c-sec pain too. But this is not why am blogging today.. I am at my mom's place and it rained today... While Thea was sleeping I was staring out of the window with thunders of emotions inside me!
This rain has always meant something to me! During school days, it meant saving my white dress from the mud puddles, then during college days, it meant a CP day out with my closest buddies. When I started working and had relationships, it meant going on long drives or simply enjoying my ride back home in a rick or bus. When I got married, it meant going out for movies with Ratish or simply enjoying the weather together. With Noddy, it has always been the struggle to make him feel secure (he's super petrified of the lightening) and NOW that I am a biological mother, I am having mixed emotions.
I am terribly missing Ratish and our time! I am missing all the freedom! I am missing all the fun I could have had in this weather and then when I look at Thea's face, I wanna hold her close to my chest and let her know that mom will not let this weather affect her and will make sure she's warm and cosy at all hours... but which one's a stronger emotion is something that I still have to figure out...
This post is a lot out of sync, coz that's exactly my state of mind for the past few days. Am not a bad mommy, just finding it difficult to adjust to this new life.. 'I' am lost somewhere.. Now before I break down YET AGAIN, ciaos!
This rain has always meant something to me! During school days, it meant saving my white dress from the mud puddles, then during college days, it meant a CP day out with my closest buddies. When I started working and had relationships, it meant going on long drives or simply enjoying my ride back home in a rick or bus. When I got married, it meant going out for movies with Ratish or simply enjoying the weather together. With Noddy, it has always been the struggle to make him feel secure (he's super petrified of the lightening) and NOW that I am a biological mother, I am having mixed emotions.
I am terribly missing Ratish and our time! I am missing all the freedom! I am missing all the fun I could have had in this weather and then when I look at Thea's face, I wanna hold her close to my chest and let her know that mom will not let this weather affect her and will make sure she's warm and cosy at all hours... but which one's a stronger emotion is something that I still have to figure out...
This post is a lot out of sync, coz that's exactly my state of mind for the past few days. Am not a bad mommy, just finding it difficult to adjust to this new life.. 'I' am lost somewhere.. Now before I break down YET AGAIN, ciaos!
No comments:
Post a Comment